so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
