I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
