You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
