singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
is wine microwaveable?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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