I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
smell my finger.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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