I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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