My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
