my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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