She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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