It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
