So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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