So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
