Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
