weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
