Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
