so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
