D3 body, D1 cock
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
