the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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