That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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