I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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