I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
