Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think my moral compass just broke
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