he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
