But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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