This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
