Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
