Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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