You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
