But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
