What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
