Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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