It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Found your dick twin last night
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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