ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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