why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Everything about him screamed your future.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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