I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
