I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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