How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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