The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
