my phone needs a breathalizer
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
