Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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