You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
