Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
