my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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