i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
