The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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