Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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