Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
