Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
