Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
