Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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