I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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