he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
